[ Part One--Introduction ]

 [ Part Two--Assignments ]

[ Part Three--Sample Student Portfolio ]

 [ Part Four--Materials ]

[ Printable Document ]
Click on the above link to download the printable document.

PART ONE--INTRODUCTION TO PORTFOLIO COMPOSITION
 

Introduction to Portfolio Composition

Welcome to Portfolio Composition. In other first-year writing courses, the student receives a grade on each individual assignment with little or no opportunity to revise the writing. In English 1010 Portfolio Composition, your teacher will ask you to revise each of your major writing assignments, and your writing will not be graded until near the end of the semester--after you have had ample opportunity to collect the best of your revised work in a WRITER’S PORTFOLIO for evaluation.

¨ The Portfolio System recognizes that becoming mature writers requires prewriting, writing, and rewriting your essays. It involves going through multiple drafts until you have achieved your purpose. This system will allow you to revise your essays throughout the semester because your teacher will assign a final grade to your Portfolio only at the end of the semester.

¨ Your teacher will provide you with constructive feedback throughout the semester on your essays, and you will also have the opportunity to implement this feedback to further improve your final grade.

¨ You will be able to focus on your writing without worrying constantly about your grades. Researchers have found that students make greater improvement in their writing when their focus is shifted from punitive feedback through letter grades to constructive feedback in the form of suggestions for further revision. Of course, after you submit your Mid-term Portfolio, your teacher will let you know about your pass/fail status up to that point and assign an informational letter grade.

¨ You will have the benefit of having your portfolio grade normed by a team of three different teachers, your own teacher being one of them.

¨ Above all, you will have the opportunity to offer only the best of your work for final assessment. Out of the five essays you will compose in English 1010, we will ask you to choose your top three essays for the Final Portfolio.

How Does This System Work?

If your teacher informs you that your Mid-term Portfolio did not pass, you must have a conference with your teacher immediately. In this meeting, your teacher will explain to you how you can improve your chances of passing the Final Portfolio.

During week fifteen of the semester, you will prepare your Final Portfolio, which will consist of a total of three pieces of writing: Three essays of your choice selected from the five essays assigned by your teacher (one essay out of Essays 1 and 2, and two essays out of Essays 3, 4, 5). You will make sure that you select only those three essays that you have carefully revised and edited using all the feedback provided by your teacher.

Once again, your teacher will first read the whole of your portfolio. Then she/he will consult the assessment team to decide whether your portfolio should receive a passing grade. At this stage your teacher will also assign a letter grade to your portfolio in consultation with the assessment team. Your portfolio will be judged by the Standards for Judging Student Portfolios, English 1010. To earn a grade of C or better, your writing must meet all five of the following criteria for effective writing:

¨ Your Final Portfolio grade (75%)
¨ Your grade for all other work (25%)

What Are Your Responsibilities as a Student in Portfolio Composition?

Your teacher will coach you throughout the semester on how to prepare your Portfolio for evaluation. Your teacher will also request you to evaluate your own writing, at least twice during the semester--once before the submission of the Mid-term Portfolio and again before the submission of the Final Portfolio. You will follow these guidelines to ensure success in the course:

1. You must complete all essay assignments in sequence and on time.
2. You must write four drafts of each essay assignment.
3. You must prepare your Portfolio drafts either on a typewriter or computer printer.
4. You will submit your Portfolio to your teacher in a two-pocket folder.
5. You will keep all the rough drafts of your essays in the English Folder and submit it at the end of the semester.
6. You must complete all the work assigned by your teacher and meet the teacher's attendance policy. Passing the Final Portfolio does not automatically pass you in English 1010.
7. If at any time during the semester you have questions regarding the Portfolio System or your status in the class, you will immediately discuss them with your teacher.
8. You must attend the MTSU Writing Center (Peck Hall 325) if your instructor requires it.

Return to Part One

Skills/Abilities: The successful completion of each of the following five essay assignments requires that the writer

Defines purpose and audience and adapts material to the audience
Explores and limits a subject
Develops a distinctive and appropriate writer's voice
Focuses on and develops a thesis
Derives organization of material from purpose and thesis
Provides adequate transitions among ideas
Uses effective paragraphing
Uses specific and appropriate language
Uses a variety of sentence types
Revises, edits, and proofreads

ESSAY 1: Remembering an Event (see sample student essay entitled "The Death of Innocence"
Description: A 550-650 word essay that focuses on the writer's experience (one event in the writer's life) for the purpose of telling a story and reflecting on its meaning.  The emphasis of the essay is on the insight the writer gained from the incident.
Topic Choices: Axelrod & Cooper's "Considering Topics for Your Own Essay" (St. Martin's 34, 39, 44, 49) and "Listing Remembered Events" (53-55).
Additional Skills/Abilities:
Uses memory recall to gather material for writing
Develops the event with vivid details, examples, and illustrations
Arranges the narrative in climactic chronological order

ESSAY 2: Remembering a Person (see sample student essay entitled "Mr. Stevens, Getting to Know the True Person")
Description: A 550-650 word essay that focuses on someone who played a significant role in the writer's life.  The individual needs to be described vividly to convey as clear and accurate an image as possible in the reader's mind and to demonstrate how he or she was significant.
Topic Choices: Axelrod and Cooper's "Considering Topics for Your Own Essay" (St. Martin's 90, 97, 101) and "Finding a Person to Write About" (St. Martin's 109-111).
Additional Skills/Abilities:
Uses memory recall to gather material for writing
Develops description with vivid details, examples, and illustrations
Adopts an informal, personal tone and emphatic writer's voice

ESSAY 3: Profiling a Place or Activity (see sample student essay entitled "MIT, For Music Lovers Only")
Description: A 550-650 word essay that provides readers with new information about a place or activity.  The information given in the essay is based on the writer's firsthand research (observation and interview).
Topic Choices: The profile of a profession, an interesting and unusual hobby or sport, or a campus or community club, organization, program, or place.  See Axelrod and Cooper's "Considering Topics for Your Own Essay" (St. Martin's 146 and 152) and "Finding a Subject to Writer About" (St. Martin's 169-71),  but omit suggestions for profiling people.
Additional Skills/Abilities
Uses interview and observation to gather material for writing
Presents lively and interesting detail, including quotations, that engages the reader's interest
Documents secondary sources appropriately using MLA guidelines

ESSAY 4: Justifying an Evaluation (see see sample student essay entitled "The Frighteners, A Horror Hybrid with a Difference")
Description: A 550-650 word essay that evaluates a subject, such as a movie, television program, book, magazine, computer game, music album, or performance. The judgment must be supported with a convincing argument based on standards of value that readers will likely to agree are appropriate for judging this kind of subject.
Topic Choices: Axlerod and Cooper's "Considering Topics for Your Own Essay" (St. Martin's 400, 406, 417) and "Finding a Subject to Write About" (St. Martin's 421-22), but the subject must have a "text" that can be documented.
Additional Skills/Abilities:
Uses firsthand observation and/or critical reading to gather material for writing
Thinks critically and logically to reach sound judgment
Develops the judgment with a well-supported argument
Presents a reasonable tone
Documents secondary source appropriately using MLA guidelines

ESSAY 5: Summarizing and Responding (see sample student essay entitled "Keeping Addicts Addicted, The Wrong Approach")
Description: A 550-650 word essay that summarizes and responds to a position in a selected reading.
Topic Choices: An essay of the student's choice from assigned readings in Who Are We?
Skills/Abilities:
Reads selected reading critically by questioning and understanding
Analyzes, interprets, and evaluates another’s position
Quotes, paraphrases, and summarizes another’s position accurately
Presents a logical and well thought out response
Documents source appropriately using MLA guidelines

Return to Part One

Return to Part One

Effective Writing

The grade of C means that the essays in the portfolio constitute competent writing at the first-year college level. The essays are fairly well organized and manage to convey their various purposes to the reader. While the portfolio lacks serious errors in the use of Standard English, the portfolio does not exhibit the vigor of expression and thought that would entitle it to an above-average grade. C is the average grade in MTSU’s first-year writing program.

The grade of B means that the essays in the portfolio clearly constitute above average writing at the first-year college level. The essays are logically organized, and ideas are insightfully and clearly developed. While the essays exhibit the positive qualities of good writing listed above, the B portfolio does not sustain the originality of thought and style that characterizes the A portfolio.

The grade of A means that the essays in the portfolio constitute exceptional writing at the first-year college level. The A portfolio contains all the positive qualities of good writing that are listed above, and in addition the essays show originality of statement and observation, and ideas are clear, logical, and even thought-provoking.

The grade of F means that the essays in the portfolio do not achieve the average proficiency in expression and thought expected from first-year college writers. The essays may lack clearly identified purposes and audiences, fail to organize and develop adequately, and/or contain serious errors in the use of Standard English. An unsatisfactory effort in any one of the five qualities of effective writing listed above results in a portfolio grade of F.

Return to Part One

PART TWO--ASSIGNMENTS
Return to Opening of Student Guide

ESSAY 1: Remembering an Event

ASSIGNMENT: Write an essay of 550-650 words that focuses on one event in your life for the purpose of telling a story and reflecting on its meaning. For a thorough description of writing that remembers an event, read The St. Martin’s Guide, chapter 2, pages 25-51, which includes sample essays by professional writers and students. For a sample essay by a MTSU student, see "The Death of Innocence").

TOPIC: To arrive at a topic, follow instructions in St. Martin’s Guide on "Considering Topics for Your Own Essay" (34, 39, 44, 49) and "Listing Remembered Events" (53-55).

PURPOSE: Your general purpose will be to inform. More specifically, you are "to present yourself to readers by telling a story that discloses something significant about your life" (St. Martin’s 25).

AUDIENCE: Essentially you will be writing a human interest piece; people will want to read your essay to learn about you, about human nature. Before you write draft 1 of the essay, choose an audience for your essay and think specifically about what you want to communicate to that audience. Targeting a publication will help narrow your audience. If you are writing to a general audience of adults cross age, class, race lines, you may want to target a publication like Readers’ Digest, but if you are aiming at a more specific audience (white female teenagers, e.g.), you will need to target a publication with a more narrow readership (Seventeen, e.g.).

INVENTION AND WRITING DRAFT 1: You are required to follow through on the "Guide to Writing," St. Martin’s 52-77. Be sure to follow instructions completely, writing all lists, descriptions, dialogue, and sketches as instructed. You are expected to generate several pages of invention--at least five handwritten. Also follow instructions for writing and revising draft 1 carefully and completely. Your teacher may ask that you complete a progress report following draft 1.

SPECIFIC SKILLS/ABILITIES REQUIRED BY THIS ASSIGNMENT: You will

1. Draw on your experience for material
2. Arrange the narrative in climactic chronological order
3. Develop the event with vivid details, dialogue, examples, and illustrations
4. Reflect on the effects of the event on you and/or others, the meaning of the event, or the insight you gained from the experience

TRAPS TO AVOID: You will want to avoid the following problems especially:

1. Choosing a topic that is too broad ("my childhood," "our championship season")
2. Failing to create suspense and to build to a climax
3. Failing to reflect on the significance of the experience
4. Oversimplifying or sentimentalizing the significance of the experience

Sample Student Essay 1: Remembering an Event

ESSAY COVERSHEET--"The Death of Innocence"

1. In a word or phrase, describe your topic. Observing a stranger’s death
2. In a word or phrase, give your working title. The Death of Innocence
3. Complete the following sentence that tells why you are an insider on this subject; that is, what qualifies you to write on this subject.? I am an insider on this subject because I witnessed a man die of a heart attack, and I have reflected on the incident.
4. In two to four sentences complete the following, which should describe your target audience in specific terms: class, gender, race, age, educational level, geographical location and the like. My target readers are male and female readers of Readers’ Digest. These readers are adults of varying ages and have high school degrees. They live all across the United States.  I have chosen this specific audience because I want to reach a general audience of people who like to read human interest stories.
5. Complete the following statements that indicate (a) the purpose that you want to achieve in writing this essay for this specific audience and (b) the response you expect from this audience.  My purpose in writing this essay is to tell about a true experience that happened to me and to reflect on its meaning. I want my readers to understand what it was like for me to experience a stranger’s death and what the experience meant to me. I hope my audience will respond by understanding and appreciating my story.
6. Complete the following sentence to indicate what value your essay holds for its readers. My readers will benefit from reading this essay by learning about me, and they may recall similar experiences of their own loss of innocence.
7. In a word or phrase, identify the role you are playing as the author of this essay: Are you writing in your role as a university student, new parent, concerned citizen, dedicated worker, or what? A mature college student looking back at my experience as a teenager
8. In a complete sentence, state your thesis. Be sure that this statement is the same thesis that appears in your essay. As I look back, however, high school was where I spent the twilight years of my innocence, and across the alley, a tragic event would open my eyes to the realities of the world.

The Death of Innocence

     My high school was located directly across the back alley of the Newport Funeral Home. If not for coincidence, it would have been splendid irony, a kind of cradle to the grave metaphor. As I look back, however, high school was where I spent the twilight years of my innocence, and across the alley, a tragic event would open my eyes to the realities of the world.

     School was tough for me. I spent most of my afternoons staring out the window as I would dream a thousand lives. It was like being in prison; in fact, the windows had cages on them so the effects of being behind bars was more than just an illusion. I was a freshman at Newport High School, and everyday I could not wait to get away from those pesky verbs or those boorish long drawn-out equations. Like most of the young men of my time, I was not willing to focus.

     Newport Funeral Home was a turn of the century brick structure. After school I would walk through the parking lot, never considering there were dead people stored behind those walls, and I never gave it a second thought. Even when a hearse was backed up to the garage door and metal gurneys sat waiting, shiny and cold for the dead, the scene was nothing more than a business, and none of it mine at that.

    One Friday, school let out early. I raced through the hall to the heavy metal doors and pushed my way to freedom. There was a crisp, fall chill in the air and a healthy, blue sky above. Crossing the alley through the funeral parking lot, I rounded the corner onto York Street and saw a small group of people walking up the sidewalk just ahead of me. Suddenly, a tall man with a rather wide girth collapsed, dropping like a sack of potatoes onto the sidewalk. He lay there motionless.

    The crowd stood back, looking down in shock at the man, and I watched nervously in the background. Seconds went by, and still the man lay sprawled on the ground. His face did not move; his ears didn’t twitch, not even an eyelash fluttered, and now the man’s face began to take on a blue hue, and his lips turned almost a chalky white.

    Soon, a man from the crowd stepped forward and sprang into action to help the victim. He pinched the gentleman’s nose, opened his mouth, and attempted to breathe life back into his lungs. After several tries, he then pounded his chest in a final attempt at trying to revive him but without any success. By this time, the man had turned an even darker blue. I will never forget the rescuer as he stood up; he wiped blood from his lip with a white handkerchief and shook his head in despair.

     In the back of my mind I heard sirens. I had listened to them wailing many times before, but had never known where they were going. As I watched the grizzly scene unfold, I stepped off the sidewalk and stumbled to the other side of the street. By now the ambulance had arrived, and the paramedics were jumping from their truck, medical bags in hand, as they pushed through the crowd to perform their futile task. The man was dead.

     While I watched the crowd, I thought to myself, "What if that were my dad lying there?" In the movies, I had witnessed people getting shot, even carved up like pigs, or hospital scenes of bloody chests, and I never once flinched at sight, but bungled memories of bridled youth seldom reveal what only experience can understand. Looking back now, security was just an illusion as I stared in the face of a dead man. I saw cold chill well up inside him as life left him in a pile of dead flesh.

     I eventually wandered on home a little scared and a little titillated. The school and the funeral home would always be there waiting for me. The death of innocence had come while school carried on, and the funeral home now was a serious business.

Questions for Critical Thinking:

1. As readers of essays that remember events, we should learn something about the writer. What do you learn about this writer? Consider facts such as age and gender as well as attitudes and habits of thinking.
2. The writer does not give the specific locale of his hometown. He simply notes place as Newport High School and Newport Funeral Home. Should he have been more specific? Why or why not?
3. The writer targets Readers’ Digest readers as his audience. Review his reason for selecting this readership. Why is his selection of audience appropriate for the essay that remembers an event?
   The narrative for the essay that remembers an event must contain suspense that builds to a climax. Reread the essay. How well does the writer meet this requirement for the narrative?
4. The remembered event essay must contain reflection on the significance of the event. Mark places in this essay where the writer reflects. Find places where the writer shows reflection both during the incident and after the incident. Why was the event significant to the writer?
5. At the beginning of the last paragraph, the writer says, "I eventually wandered on home a little scared and a little titillated." What does he mean "titillated"? Should he have explained?
6. Underline passages in the essay where the writer uses vivid language to describe the scene and his feelings. What language use do you find most effective, least effective?
7. Reread the writer’s statement of purpose on his coversheet. How well does the writer achieve that stated purpose?
8. You may have never witnessed a person die, but you have experienced similar incidences of the loss of innocence because after all that loss is part of growing up: the first time someone close to you lied to you, a time when you were betrayed, the discovery of your own vanity, when someone made fun of you, when you lost confidence in your parents.
9. Make a list of such incidences where you began to confront the realities of life. What did you learn from these experiences?

ESSAY 2: Remembering a Person

ASSIGNMENT: Write an essay of 550-650 words that focuses on someone who had a significant impact on your life. For a thorough description of writing that remembers a person, read The St. Martin’s Guide, chapter 3, pages 83-107, which includes sample essays by professional writers and students. For a sample essay by a MTSU student, see "Mr. Stevens: Getting to Know the True Person."

TOPIC: Follow instructions in St. Martin’s Guide, chapter 3, on "Considering Topics for Your Own Essay" (St. Martin’s 90, 97, 101) and "Finding a Person to Write About" (109-11).

PURPOSE: Your general purpose is to inform. More specifically, your purpose is twofold:  you are "to portray the person vividly so that readers can imagine what he or she was like and to give readers insight into the person's significance in your life" (St. Martin’s 83).

AUDIENCE: Your audience may include the remembered person and other members of a group, such as a family or community. To target another audience, choose a scenario (an education class, a local historical society, an introductory speech) or publication (Reader’s Digest, your hometown newspaper, Sidelines).

INVENTION AND WRITING DRAFT 1: You are required to follow through on the "Guide to Writing," St. Martin’s 108-32. Be sure to follow instructions completely, writing all lists, descriptions, appearance, actions, anecdotes, recurring events, and dialogue as instructed. You are expected to generate several pages of invention--at least five handwritten. Also follow instructions for writing and revising draft 1 carefully and completely. Your teacher may ask that you complete a progress report following draft 1.

SPECIFIC SKILLS/ABILITIES REQUIRED BY THIS ASSIGNMENT: You will

1. Draw on your experience for material
2. Describe the person, using vivid word images, details, examples, and illustrations
3. Use anecdotes, scenes that paint a picture of the setting and other characters, and descriptions of recurring actions that will let the reader get to know the person
4. Adopt an informal, personal tone and emphatic writer’s voice
5. Reflect, conveying the significance of the person to you (and to others)

TRAPS TO AVOID: You will want to avoid the following problems especially:

1. Picking someone at random or merely for sentimental reasons
2. Selecting a family or close friend who has recently died
3. Over-idealizing or demonizing the person
4. Focusing too much on yourself
5. Failing to indicate the significance of the person to you either directly or indirectly
6. Trivializing or over sentimentalizing the significance of the person

ESSAY COVERSHEET: "Mr. Stevens: Getting to Know the True Person"

1. In a word or phrase, describe your topic. A changing view of someone
2. In a word or phrase, give your working title. Mr. Stevens: Getting to Know the True Person
3. Complete the following sentence that tells why you are an insider on this subject; that is, what qualifies you to write on this subject.?  I am an insider on this subject because I worked for Mr. Stevens and got to know him as a mentor.
4. In two to four sentences complete the following, which should describe your target audience in specific terms: class, gender, race, age, educational level, geographical location and the like. My target readers are the Readers’ Digest type who are adults with at least high school degrees and live throughout the United States. I am not targeting a particular age, race, or class of readers, although people who have hard-to-get-along-with bosses or coworkers will identify most closely. I have chosen this specific audience because I want a wide range of readers. Most adults will be able to appreciate my portrait of Mr. Stevens.
5. Complete the following statements that indicate (a) the purpose that you want to achieve in writing this essay for this specific audience and (b) the response you expect from this audience. My purpose in writing this essay is to describe a person who has had an effect on my life. I want my readers to understand Mr. Stevens’ character and what he means to me. I hope my audience will respond by understanding Mr. Stevens’ personality and enjoying my portrait of him.
6. Complete the following sentence to indicate what value your essay holds for its readers. My readers will benefit from reading this essay by thinking about how people can be different when you really get to know them.
7. In a word or phrase, identify the role you are playing as the author of this essay: Are you writing in your role as a university student, new parent, concerned citizen, dedicated worker, or what? A former employee and friend of Mr. Stevens
8. In a complete sentence, state your thesis. Be sure that this statement is the same thesis that appears in your essay. This once despised man, when given a chance to be his true self, became not only a mentor but also a friend.

Mr. Stevens: Getting to Know the True Person

     Answering each question with the correct and expected response helped me land the job I desperately wanted. All the questions had been short and to the point. Mr. Stevens hired me on the spot. I was thankful he had given me a job in one of the several grocery stores he owned. At sixteen the idea of flipping burgers was not very appealing, so I took the job, ignoring all the rumors about Mr. Stevens being hard to work for. Unfortunately, the rumors turned out to be true.

     Since the store I worked for was Mr. Stevens’ favorite, or more appropriately, the most profitable, he spent a great deal of time there. Politicians would envy his treatment of customers on the sales floor, but as soon as he entered the back room, everything changed. The days we received trucks were always the worst.

     "Let’s get those trucks unloaded!" he’d shout, his voice deepening from years of cigarette smoking.

     "Get the lead out!" was his preferred motivational quip.

     Finally, after hours of hard work and with sweat pouring from our faces, we would finish unloading, but never once did he congratulate us on a job well done. Instead, as an ultimate way to show us who was boss, he’s say, "No charge for the workout boys."

We all felt like we were being watched constantly, and we were, if not in person then through the many cameras that were installed to "aid in catching shoplifters," as Mr. Stevens would say. The ashes on the end of his cigarette would be fighting to hang on as he watched over us from his office monitors like a warden watches over his prisoners. We knew that this tall, thin, middle-aged man with perfectly combed gray hair anxiously waited for us to make a mistake or to catch us loafing.

     "You got time to lean, you got time to clean," he’d rhyme in admonition.

      Throughout the summer of my employment, Mr. Stevens took weekly trips to Kentucky to pick up produce from the Amish farmers. One day he asked me to ride with him; needless to say, I wasn’t looking forward to the lengthy trips. Yet when the day for the first trip finally arrived, I could not believe the difference being away from the store made in his personality. The air wasn’t full of the tenseness that was usually present. As he drove, we talked about a variety of things, none of which included work. Was this the man I normally avoided at all costs? He was very relaxed, even joking with me at times. The longer we rode, the more we talked. In contrast to my belief that he had probably inherited a small fortune, he told me of his poor childhood and how hard he had worked to get where he was. We had much in common, not the least of which was the fear of failure. The more he confided in me, the more I respected him.

     Soon I found myself looking forward to our weekly trips. With each passing mile Mr. Stevens and I grew closer. The more I got to know him, the more I realized what a wise man he was and that I could learn from his experiences. Back in the store, he still treated me like all the other employees, but his abuse didn’t bother me as much as before. Although I never agreed with his management techniques, I was able to separate my boss at work from the man on the road I grew to admire. I realized Mr. Stevens’ attitude at work was just a mask worn so others would view him as strong. Over the course of the summer, we developed a father-son type of relationship that remains to this day. This once despised man, when given a chance to be his true self, became not only a mentor but also a friend.

Questions for Critical Thinking:

1. The essay that remembers a person must present a vivid portrait, presenting how the person looks, moves, and sounds. Of course, the writer must be selective in presenting these details, choosing only a few distinctive features to emphasize. What details of Mr. Stevens’ appearance does the writer choose to present? Why did he select these details? Were other details needed to complete the "picture"?
2. The successful essay that remembers a person usually contains at least one anecdote (a short one-time event). The writer’s first trip to Kentucky with Mr. Stevens comprises the anecdote. What is the point of the narrative? How could the narrative be improved?
3. Writers of essays that remember persons also use recurring events to depict the personalities of their subjects. Underline the recurring events in the essay about Mr. Stevens. What do these recurring events suggest about his character?
4. Note that the writer who remembers Mr. Stevens saves the thesis to the end of the essay. Is this an effective strategy? Why or why not?
5. The successful essay about a remembered person presents a complex portrait of the subject because people are never just saints or sinners. How does the writer avoid idealizing or demonizing Mr. Stevens?
6. Make a list of people outside your family who have made a similar impact on your life as Mr. Stevens made on this student writer: an employer, a teacher, a coach, a neighbor, an enemy turned friend, or someone you misjudged before you got to know the person. Why are these people significant to you?

ESSAY 3: Profiling a Place or Activity

ASSIGNMENT: Write an essay of 550-650 words that profiles a community or campus organization, program, or place; a business or profession; or an interesting and unusual hobby or sport. For a thorough description of writing that profiles a subject, read The St. Martin’s Guide, chapter 4, pages 137-67, which includes sample essays by professional writers and students. For a sample essay by a MTSU student, see "MIT: For Music Lovers Only."

TOPIC: Follow instructions in St. Martin’s Guide, chapter 4 on "Considering Topics for Your Own Essay" (St. Martin’s 146 and 152) and "Finding a Subject to Write About" (169-72), but omit suggestions for profiling persons. Profiles of people are not allowed.

PURPOSE: Your general purpose is to inform and to entertain. More specifically, you are to provide readers with new information about a place or activity or with information that enlarges their knowledge about something they know only a little about, enabling them "to visualize" the place or activity  (St. Martin’s 137).

AUDIENCE: Choose a publication for your essay: a campus newspaper (Sidelines, The Record), a local magazine or newspaper (Murfreesboro Magazine, The Daily News Journal, The Nashville Scene, The Tennessean), a special interest magazine or journal Spin, Wired, a sports magazine, historical society newsletter, etc.).

INVENTION AND WRITING DRAFT 1: You are required to follow through on the "Guide to Writing," St. Martin’s (168-96). Be sure to follow instructions completely, including writing all lists of places and activities, setting up a tentative schedule for observation and interview visits, and posing preliminary interview questions. You are expected to generate several pages of invention--at least five handwritten. Also follow instructions for writing and revising draft 1 carefully and completely. Your teacher may ask that you complete a progress report following draft 1.

SPECIFIC SKILLS/ABILITIES REQUIRED BY THIS ASSIGNMENT: You will

1. Use at least one interview and observation to gather material for writing
2. Create a dominant impression of the place or activity
3. Present lively and interesting detail, including sensory information and quotations
4. Document secondary sources appropriately using MLA guidelines

TRAPS TO AVOID: You will want to avoid the following problems especially:

1. Choosing too broad a subject (e.g., selecting recycling centers, instead of Recycle Murfreesboro)
2. Failing to leave the reader with a dominant impression of the activity or place
3. Treating the subject too superficially (the essay reads like an advertisement)
4. Focusing on the writer and using "I" instead of focusing on the subject

RESEARCH REQUIREMENTS:

1. Interview a knowledgeable individual and, when available, collect descriptive materials, such as pamphlets or newsletters, to gather information about your profile subject. You may interview a relative only with your instructor’s permission; the first interview must be in person, not via telephone.
2. Quote the interviewee at least once in the essay.
3. Acknowledge sources using MLA documentation style.

OBSERVATION AND INTERVIEW GUIDELINES: Following suggestions in The St. Martin’s Guide (chapter 20), schedule and plan your visit and prepare and write out your interview questions in advance.

Observation tips:

1. Observe the site from several perspectives and take notes.
2. Divide the notes into categories covering aspects or features of the place or activity--the setting, the people, and your personal reactions.
3. Reflect in writing on what you have seen and heard and felt.

Interview tips:

1. Ask specific questions, for the most part, and if you receive a "yes" or "no" answer, follow with a question seeking more information.
2. Be flexible--if you think of a good question during the interview, ask it.
3. If the interviewee wanders from the topic, steer him/her back.
4. Listen carefully.
5. Take only the notes you will need to jog your memory.
6. Use a tape recorder if your interviewee does not object and the recorder does not distract.
7. End the interview with a general invitation: "Can you think of anything else to tell me?"
8. Immediately after the interview, make a complete record of it based on your notes and include physical descriptions, if appropriate.

1. Essay 3 requires that you quote and paraphrase your sources appropriately and that you document them correctly. See Harbrace Handbook 39 for how to cite an interview (page 603) and a pamphlet (page 597) on the Works Cited and how to cite sources parenthetically within the text of your paper.
2. You must submit notes from the interview and copies of any printed materials collected for this essay.

1. Do not refer to the interview in the essay ("She said in the interview. . . .").
2. Do not refer to yourself as the interviewer in the essay ("When I asked him. . . .").
3. Do not present a hodgepodge of unrelated information about your subject. Do have an interpretation of the subject, an "angle" for your profile. Your goal is to create an interesting focus for your profile. Your angle/focus will be expressed as a thesis, a central, overriding idea to which everything in your essay relates.

ESSAY COVERSHEET: "MIT: For Music Lovers Only"

1. In a word or phrase, describe your topic. A place to see independent music
2. In a word or phrase, give your working title. MIT: For Music Lovers Only
3. Complete the following sentence that tells why you are an insider on this subject; that is, what qualifies you to write on this subject.? I am an insider on this subject because I have seen a couple of shows at the Millvale Industrial Theater, and I have read about it on the Internet and conducted two personal interviews.
4. In two to four sentences complete the following, which should describe your target audience in specific terms: class, gender, race, age, educational level, geographical location and the like. My target readers are males and females ages 18-35 who read DIY fanzines. My audience is primarily white, and they are intelligent, creative, art appreciating music lovers who have not visited the Millvale Industrial Theater. I have chosen this specific audience because I want to reach people who would likely want to know about MIT and perhaps visit the theatre.
5. Complete the following statements that indicate (a) the purpose that you want to achieve in writing this essay for this specific audience and (b) the response you expect from this audience. My purpose in writing this essay is to profile a little known place that offers independent music. I hope my audience will respond by learning about the uniqueness of the Millvale Industrial Theater.
6. Complete the following sentence to indicate what value your essay holds for its readers. My readers will benefit from reading this essay by learning of a place where they can enjoy independent music.
7. In a word or phrase, identify the role you are playing as the author of this essay: Are you writing in your role as a university student, new parent, concerned citizen, dedicated worker, or what? An independent music fan
8. In a complete sentence, state your thesis. Be sure that this statement is the same thesis that appears in your essay. It is a place of great intimacy between audience and artist, and without distractions of fancy lights and elaborate staging, the music becomes the main ingredient, something that is not generally true in a nightclub setting.

MIT: For Music Lovers Only

     Starving for creative, independent music that faithful watchers of MTV have never heard? Come to Millvale Industrial Theater (MIT for short), and take in the friendly, no-frills environment while enjoying whatever brand of music you desire.

     Located on Route 28 in Pittsburgh, hidden amidst trees and other buildings, the MIT isn’t easily seen by people not seeking it out. The theater is not marked, except for days of shows when the amiable owner and head promoter, Manny Theiner, carries a small, hand-painted sign down to the roadside. Manny has been in the promoting business for thirteen years now and has brought such acts as Nirvana, Sonic Youth, and Hole to Pittsburgh ("Millvale"). However, the thirty-seven-year-old Theiner prefers to focus on the small, struggling performers because they are "more accessible and generally nicer people to work with," he concludes. Thus, he bought a garage in the abandoned industrial park and made it a place of business about a year and a half ago ("Millvale").

     Inside the building, newspaper clippings and fliers from past MIT shows hang proudly on the wall like medals of honor. "I look up to a lot of the artists that I’ve brought here, and I feel fortunate that they’ve chosen the MIT as a place to work their magic," Manny says with a sense of accomplishment in his voice. As customers hand over the money to get in, which rarely exceeds the six-dollar mark, their right hands are marked with a stamp that says "Art Committee." Manny says that the stamp is appropriate because the music performed at the MIT is like a work of art with the audience serving as the critics. More often than not, the audience gives the artists favorable reviews.

     When entering the main hall, MIT patrons immediately notice that the stage, made of many boards of plywood, is no more than a foot off the ground. Blacklights line the walls occupied by stuffed animals that have been tortured or mutilated in some way or another. The calamitous stuffed animals are actually someone’s art and can be purchased for five dollars at the door. Two spotlights provide the only lighting, along with the lonely Coke machine in the back. Working the sound at all the MIT shows is former bass player for the legendary Pittsburgh punk band, Anti-Flag, Andy Wright. Andy gets the same satisfaction working at the MIT as Manny does. "I get to work with people that I admire," he points out.

     During the performances, the audience, usually no more than ninety people (the place holds 250), stand together in the un-air conditioned garage and take in whatever music happens to be played there that night ("Millville"). Generous clouds of smoke meander through the crowd as the show moves on. No alcohol is sold; however, being that there is no security, nobody will stop people from bringing it in, underage or not. Although most of the crowd consists of local college students, people significantly younger and older are usually in attendance as well. During the annual ORIcon festival (a show celebrating the release of the Operation Re-Information CDs), the audience participates in a futuristic fashion show, as well as getting to create ORIcrafts and ORIfoods at various booths around the building. It is probably the MIT’s biggest draw throughout the year (Theiner).

     What keeps people coming back night after night, however, is the music. The MIT has housed many different genres of music at one time or another, from punk to folk to rap to hard-core metal to jazz to classical violin ("Millvale"). Manny is always open to the local bands just starting out and gives them a chance to play with artists from all over the world. He proudly declares, "We’ve had acts from Iceland, Japan, Germany, England, Australia, just to name a few countries. Giving our local bands a chance to open for these people is usually a real boost to their confidence."

     As with any place for music, there will be good shows and bad shows, but the atmosphere at the MIT is worth the six dollars alone. It is a place of great intimacy between audience and artist, and without distractions of fancy lights and elaborate staging, the music becomes the main ingredient, something that is not generally true in a nightclub setting. So, if you are ever in the area and in the mood for some good old fashioned art rock, give Millvale Industrial Theater a chance. Manny says that he has no plans to stop anytime soon: "I see no need to end anytime in the near future. I’m having more fun than I’ve had my whole life, and as long as I’m happy, I’ll keep doing it."

Works Cited

"Millvale Industrial Theater FAQ." 24 Oct. 1999 <http://www.mit.telerama.com/faq.html>.
Theiner, Manny. Personal interview. 23 Oct. 1999.
Wright, Andy. Personal interview. 23 Oct. 1999.

Questions for Critical Thinking:

1. Writers of successful profile essays focus on the uniqueness of their subjects expressed through the writer’s interpretation of the subject. What is unique about the Millvale Industrial Theater? Underline the sentences that give the writer’s interpretation of the subject.
2. What factual information did you learn about the MIT? What else do you need or want to know about MIT?
3. Readers of profile essays expect the subject to be described with vivid detail. Underline passages in the MIT profile that describe the subject vividly. What details do you not understand? What details are missing that would enhance the description?
4. What is the organizing principle (chronological, topical, spatial) of the MIT profile? How effective is this choice of organization?
5. What audience does the writer target for the MIT profile? Is this an appropriate audience? Why or why not? Circle words and sentences where the writer adapts the essay’s content and language to his audience? Is his speaking to the readers directly in the opening and closing paragraphs appropriate for the profile essay?
6. Writers of profile essays must appear to know their subjects well; they must be insiders on the subject. How does the author of the MIT profile present himself as an insider in the essay?
7. Write a list of unique places you have visited (perhaps places in your own community, such as a country grocery store, a family owned restaurant, an antique store, a historical landmark). What makes them unique?

ESSAY 4: Justifying an Evaluation

ASSIGNMENT: Write an essay of 550-650 words that evaluates a subject (such as a movie, television program, book, magazine, computer game, music album, concert, play, dance performance, an actor’s performance, or a player’s performance). Base your evaluation on standards of value that readers will likely to agree are appropriate for judging the subject.. For a thorough description of writing that justifies an evaluation, read The St. Martin’s Guide, chapter 8, pages 391-419, which includes sample essays by professional writers and students. For a sample essay by a MTSU student, see "The Frighteners: A Horror Hybrid with a Difference."

TOPIC: Follow instructions in St. Martin’s Guide, chapter 8 on "Considering Topics for Your Own Essay" (St. Martin’s 400, 406, 417) and "Finding a Subject to Write About" (421-22), but omit suggestions for a topic that does not require research ("evaluate your performance as a student, your athletic ability") or a topic that requires too much research ("evaluate a government agency"). Choose a subject that has a "text," a source that you can document; obviously, a book as a text, and so do television shows, movies, dance performances, concerts, and the like.

PURPOSE: Your general purpose is to persuade by argumentation. More specifically, you are to apply appropriate standards of value to your subject and provide readers with a convincing argument that supports your evaluation of the subject. You want your readers to agree with your evaluation.

AUDIENCE: Choose a specific medium in which you might publish your essay: a campus newspaper (Sidelines, The Record), a local magazine or newspaper (Murfreesboro Magazine, The Daily News Journal, The Nashville Scene, The Tennessean), a special interest magazine or journal Spin, Wired, a sports magazine, historical society newsletter, etc.).

INVENTION AND WRITING DRAFT 1: You are required to follow through on the "Guide to Writing," St. Martin’s (420-44). Be sure to follow instructions completely, including writing lists for possible subjects (culture, written work, leisure) and all other writing prompts. You are expected to generate several pages of invention--at least five handwritten. Also follow instructions for writing and revising draft 1 carefully and completely. Your teacher may ask that you complete a progress report following draft 1.

SPECIFIC SKILLS/ABILITIES REQUIRED BY THIS ASSIGNMENT: You will

1. Use firsthand observation and/or critical reading to gather material for writing
2. Think critically and logically to reach sound judgment
3. Develop the judgment with a well-supported argument
4. Present a reasonable tone
5. Document secondary sources appropriately using MLA guidelines

TRAPS TO AVOID: You will want to avoid the following problems especially:

1. Choosing an inappropriate subject--one that requires no research, too much research, or has no source to document; or one that is too broad (war movies rather than one particular movie)
   Failing to assert a strong judgment
2. Failing to sufficiently describe the subject for readers who may be unfamiliar with it
3. Seeking to evaluate the subject from memory only (writers should not attempt to evaluate a movie, e.g., unless they have an opportunity to see it two or three times, nor should they evaluate a novel unless they have time to reread it)
4. Failing to apply appropriate standards of evaluation (writers should not attempt to evaluate a movie, e.g., unless they know its genre, such as horror, American western, romantic comedy, and can determine suitable standards of evaluation for the particular genre)
5. Failing to support the judgment with evidence (details from the "text")
6. Focusing on the writer and using "I" instead of focusing on the subject

ARGUMENTATIVE WRITING: Writing that justifies an evaluation attempts to persuade by way of building a convincing argument. Argumentative writing makes assertions (claims) that must be supported by reasons backed up by evidence. The thesis, of course, is the major claim in an essay that justifies an evaluation; it makes a judgment about the subject.

To understand the complexity of writing to justify an evaluation, you should know that Essay 4 will require you to build a deductive argument (see Harbrace 35d). The deductive argument to justify an evaluation uses standards of value as the major premise to establish its conclusion. Often these standards are implied but not stated directly in the argument. An example of such a deductive argument is

Major premise: Entertaining action films have fast-paced direction, complicated stunts punctuated by animated music, and sympathetically portrayed super heroes. [standards of value]
Minor premise: Rumble in the Bronx has fast-paced direction, complicated stunts punctuated by animated music, and a sympathetically portrayed super hero.
Conclusion: Rumble in the Bronx is an entertaining action film. [thesis claim]

Also note that in addition to the basic framework of a deductive argument, the essay that justifies an evaluation will require you to build inductive arguments (Harbrace 35d) to establish the minor premise. For example, illustrations from Rumble in the Bronx must be given as supporting evidence for each of the three points made about the movie in the minor premise of the deductive argument given above, so the essay would have to create three inductive arguments.

ESSAY COVERSHEET: "The Frighteners, A Horror Hybrid with a Difference"

1. In a word or phrase, describe your topic. The movie The Frighteners
2. In a word or phrase, give your working title. The Frighteners, A Horror Hybrid with a Difference
3. Complete the following sentence that tells why you are an insider on this subject; that is, what qualifies you to write on this subject.? I am an insider on this subject because I have watched The Frighteners several times, each time looking for its unique elements of plot, characters, and theme.
4. In two to four sentences complete the following, which should describe your target audience in specific terms: class, gender, race, age, educational level, geographical location and the like. My target audience reads " Best Video Rentals," a syndicated newspaper column. They are high school educated, non-gender and non-race specific, 17-35 year-olds of upper to lower mid-class who live throughout the United States and rent movies to watch at home every week. They may or may not have seen The Frighteners. I have chosen this specific audience because this readership is most likely to be interested in an evaluation of The Frighteners.
5. Complete the following statements that indicate (a) the purpose that you want to achieve in writing this essay for this specific audience and (b) the response you expect from this audience.  My purpose in writing this essay is to evaluate The Frighteners and convince the readers why it is superior to other horror movies like it. I hope my audience will respond by agreeing with me and perhaps deciding to see the movie, if they haven’t seen it already.
6. Complete the following sentence to indicate what value your essay holds for its readers. My readers will benefit from reading this essay by being confident they will see a good movie if they rent The Frighteners.
7. In a word or phrase, identify the role you are playing as the author of this essay: Are you writing in your role as a university student, new parent, concerned citizen, dedicated worker, or what? A horror movie critic
8. In a complete sentence, state your thesis. Be sure that this statement is the same thesis that appears in your essay. The Frighteners, with its unique story line, cast of characters, and underlying theme, far surpasses its genre colleagues.

The Frighteners: A Horror Hybrid with a Difference

     Take one part Ghostbusters, add two parts Stephen King, a dash of suspense along with some high end digital animation, mix thoroughly, and what do you get? A movie called The Frighteners, starring Michael J. Fox, Trini Alvarado, John Astin and Dee Wallace Stone.

     Debuting in 1996, The Frighteners is a horror hybrid because it draws from several movie genres, including horror, comedy and detective mystery. The movie takes place in a quiet New England town called Fairmont where for the past five years the number of unexplained deaths has been rising. These deaths have sent the townsfolk into a panic while also catching the attention of the FBI, who has been called in to investigate the mystery. Among the cast of characters is local resident Frank Banister (Michael J. Fox), paranormal investigator and reluctant hero who finds himself caught in some sinister plot only he is aware of. Banister has the ability to see and communicate with spirits, an ability given to him as the result of a car accident in which his wife died. As the death toll in Fairmont rises, Banister puts his sixth sense into overdrive and, with the help of his ghost friends, tries to unmask the mysterious shadow of death that has settled over the town. In the end, Frank learns a lesson about life and death, which is the underlying theme the movie embraces.

     With its wickedly creative plot, The Frighteners, although classified as a horror movie and located in the horror section of most video stores, sets itself apart from other, more recent horror hybrids, such as Scream and Urban Legend. These movies focus on who the killer is and who will die next. Their plots are unoriginal: predictably the killer is de-masked, confesses his/her motives and in one form or fashion utters the old line "I would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for you meddling kids." Frighteners, on the other hand, dramatizes the mythological character of the Grim Reaper as the ultimate serial killer.

     The plot, however, is not the only thing original about Frighteners. Its characters are another advantage the movie holds over Scream or Urban Legend. Scream and Urban Legend lack original characters, being that they rely on stereotypical character formats established by such movies as Nightmare on Elm Street and Sean S. Cunningham’s popular series Friday the 13th. One evil entity (be it man, woman, or other), who is hell bent for revenge for some past tragedy, terrorizes a group of seemingly innocent individuals. Always among the group being terrorized, the hero/heroine is the first of the group to recognize the sinister plot. Some of the rest of the characters (the "extras") may survive to the end of the movie, but the audience knows that most of them will die at the hands of the evil entity in both interesting and horrifying ways. Though Frighteners uses stereotypical characters, it creatively draws on several movie genres outside of horror to depict these characters. For example, the nerdy sidekick (Jim Fyfe) looks like an extra from Back to the Future. Chi McBride, who resembles an overweight Shaft, plays a wise-ass, temperamental spirit who died in the 70’s. The homicidal psychopath Johnny Bartlett (Jake Busey) is one part Billy the Kid and two parts Charles Manson. And Old Lady Bradley (Julianna McCarthy) looks just like the Wicked Witch from Disney’s Snow White.

     The Frighteners’ characters have one other advantage over those in Scream and Urban Legend, that being the actors who play them. While the actors in Frighteners are not widely known, making their characters believably real, the stars of Scream (Neve Campbell, Corteney Cox, Drew Barrymore, and David Arquette) and those from the TV show Dawson’s Creek in Urban Legend are too familiar, causing their roles to seem false or awkward.

     The use of less known actors in Frighteners also allows the movie to focus on a deeper meaning than its horror counterparts. The underlying themes of Scream and Urban are far inferior to the theme of the Frighteners. Urban Legend’s theme revolves around the idea that just because something is a legend does not mean it is not true; Scream’s theme deals with the issue of sins of the father (or mother) and how they affect the rest of the family. The theme of The Frighteners demands more complex thinking in that the theme revolves around the questions of who is death and is death impartial to all. Like most good movies, The Frighteners also has many sub themes, such as justice for the wicked, or as Old Lady Bradley states in the movie’s opening, "The wicked shall be punished." Another sub theme is the concept of moving on in life, demonstrated by Banister’s character who learns in the end to stop reliving the death of his wife. The Frighteners offers such a wide variety of meanings that possibly anyone who sees it will find something to enjoy.

     Frighteners, with it unique story line, cast of characters and underlying theme, far surpasses its horror genre colleagues. It’s a horror hybrid with a difference.

Works Cited

Friday the 13th. Dir. Sean S. Cunningham. Paramount Pictures. 1980.
The Frighteners. Dir. Robert Zeckmis. Universal. 1996.
Nightmare on Elm Street. Dir. Wes Craven. New Line Cinema. 1984.
Scream. Dr. Wes Craven. Dimension. 1996.
Urban Legend. Dir. Jamie Blanks. Columbia Tristar. 1998.

Questions for Critical Thinking:

1. Essential to justifying an evaluation is the application of appropriate standards of value. What are the standards applied to The Frighteners? Are these appropriate? Are they stated explicitly or only implied?
2. Have you seen The Frighteners? Does the writer give you enough information for the evaluation to make sense? Underline passages that serve to give readers essential background.
3. Circle the writer’s thesis. How well does it satisfy these requirements for the essay that passes judgment on a subject: It is arguable. It is clear and unambiguous. It is appropriately qualified.
4. What do you think about the placement of the thesis? Is the placement effective, or does it belong elsewhere?
5. List the reasons for the writer’s judgment of The Frighteners. What textual support is given in support of the reasons?
6. Are you a member of the writer’s targeted audience? Were you convinced by the writer’s argument?
7. List several movies that you could evaluate and identify the kind of movies (genres) they are. Write a list of appropriate standards of value for each genre you identify.

ESSAY 5: Summarizing and Responding

ASSIGNMENT: Write an essay of 550-650 words in which you summarize and respond to a position presented in another essay. For a thorough description of writing that summarizes and responds, read the instruction and guidelines in Portfolio Composition that follow and the sample student essay, "Keeping Addicts Addicted: The Wrong Approach."

PURPOSE: Your general purpose is to persuade by argumentation. More specifically, you are to introduce the essay to which you are responding and show clearly, logically, and specifically where you stand, distinguishing your position from that of your source. You must disagree with the author at least in part. You may agree with the author’s basic position while disputing some of her/his sub points or applications. Or you may disagree with most of the article. Whatever your stand, you will want your reader to agree that your position is worthy of their acceptance.

AUDIENCE: You must assume that your readers have not read the essay that you are addressing. Be sure to narrow to a specific group, however. Most likely, you will want to select the audience that the writer of the essay most likely was targeting. Where was the essay originally published? What audience does the publication target? What hints does the essayist give about his/her targeted audience.

INVENTION AND WRITING DRAFT 1: You are required to follow through on the "Guide to Writing," which follows. Be sure to follow instructions completely for "Invention and Research." You are expected to generate several pages of invention--at least five handwritten. Also follow instructions for writing and revising draft 1 carefully and completely. Your teacher may ask that you complete a progress report  following draft 1.

SPECIFIC SKILLS/ABILITIES REQUIRED BY THIS ASSIGNMENT: You will

1. Read selected essay critically by questioning and understanding
2. Analyze, interpret, and evaluate the essayist’s position
3. Quote, paraphrase, and summarize the essayist’s position accurately
4. Present a logical and well thought out response
5. Document the source appropriately using MLA guidelines

TRAPS TO AVOID: You will want to avoid the following problems especially:

1. Failing to summarize the essay adequately for your reader who has not read the essay
2. Agreeing in total with the essayist, thus failing to offer any criticism of his/her position and insights of your own
3. Misrepresenting the author
4. Using the article as merely a point of departure to launch an argument of your own

Summarizing and responding is emotionally satisfying and intellectually challenging. Often we read a newspaper editorial or magazine article that makes us angry, touches us deeply, or introduces us to a subject that we would like to tell others about. We want to understand the author’s message, pass it along to others (that’s the summary part), and give our own view of the subject (that’s the response part). Summarizing and responding can be emotionally satisfying, especially if we care about our subject. The activity is intellectually challenging as well, for summarizing and responding requires reading carefully and thinking critically. To do the job well, we have to become active readers who make appropriate judgments about what we read.

Writing in Your Other Courses and at Work. To summarize and respond--that is a common purpose of much academic writing. Writing the summary and response essay will introduce you to the kind of reading and writing skills you will need in English 112, the next writing course you are required to take at Middle Tennessee State University. Furthermore, you can apply the skills you learn in completing this essay to academic assignments all across the disciplines--from summarizing chapters in a psychology textbook to responding to assigned readings in history. Also in the work world, you will often employ the skills of summary and response writing as you react to and create reports and proposals.

When you summarize and respond to another’s writing, you attempt to influence readers’ opinions about the position the author takes on a subject. Your primary aim is to convince readers that your view is worthy of their acceptance. You want to be understood and taken seriously. Readers of this genre of writing have certain expectations and needs. Readers expect you to be ethical--to present the author’s position accurately and fairly and to build your own position on sound logic. Also, you cannot assume that your readers have read the piece you are responding to; therefore, you must give the readers sufficient detail for the author’s position to make sense.

An accurate and clear summary of the source--The subject of the summary and response essay is another piece of writing that focuses on a controversial topic with the intent to persuade the reader. The topic of the source is controversial in that there is more than one way to look at the subject. The author, of course, wants the readers to accept his or her view of the subject. In the summary portion of the summary and response essay, the skilled writer carefully and objectively presents the main ideas of the original source and often quotes the source for interesting detail and complete clarity.

A clear and logical response to the author’s position that disagrees with that position in part or as a whole--Writers who respond to another’s view of a subject most often disagree with their source in part, if not in whole. In fact, they are motivated to respond because they disagree. They want to "set the record straight," so to speak. Successful writers of the summary and response essays make their position clear: On what issues do they disagree and, even more importantly, why do they disagree? Successful respondents, then, establish credibility with their readers by presenting reasons for their particular views, and they back up these reasons with sound arguments and convincing evidence, including facts and personal anecdotes.

ESSAY COVERSHEET: "Keeping Addicts Addicted: The Wrong Approach"

1. In a word or phrase, describe your topic. An essay entitled "How About Low-Cost Drugs for Addicts?"
2. In a word or phrase, give your working title. Keeping Addicts Addicted: The Wrong Approach
3. Complete the following sentence that tells why you are an insider on this subject; that is what qualifies you to write on this subject? I am an insider on this subject because I read Louis Nizer’s article several times and studied his argument carefully and then formed my own opinion about providing free drugs for addicts.
4. In two to four sentences, complete the following which should describe your target audience in specific terms: class, gender, race, age, educational level, geographical location and the like. My target readers are adult male and females throughout the United States who read The New York Times newspaper where Nizer published his article. Race is irrelevant as people of all races are interested in solving the drug problem. I am assuming that my readers have not have read Nizer’s article, however. I have chosen this specific audience because I want to target the same audience that Nizer did.
5. Complete the following statements that indicate (a) the purpose that you want to achieve in writing this essay for this specific audience and (b) the response you expect from this audience. My purpose in writing this essay is to inform my audience of Nizer’s position and to convince them of the validity of my response. I hope my audience will respond by seriously considering my view of the subject, which takes issue with Nizer.
6. Complete the following sentence to indicate what value your essay holds for its readers. My readers will benefit from reading this essay by learning why Nizer’s proposal for free drugs should be opposed.
7. In a word or phrase, identify the role you are playing as the author of this essay (that is, the persona you are assuming as the author). A concerned citizen who disagrees with Nizer’s solution to the drug problem
8. In a complete sentence, state your thesis. Be sure that this statement is the same thesis that appears in your essay. Nizer’s solution, while being a novel approach to an old problem, is poorly planned and would present difficult and unnecessary challenges to the communities involved.

Keeping Addicts Addicted: The Wrong Approach

     Drug abuse is a major problem in today’s society. In some way, either big or small, it affects every American’s life. According to Loius Nizer in "How About Low-Cost Drugs for Addicts?" the way to overcome this obstacle is by providing addicts with what amounts to free fixes. The addict would have the opportunity to head to a nearby clinic, manned by a staff of doctors and psychiatrists, to receive a shot at no charge every time he or she felt the urge. Is this a sound idea? Not only would it place the addict in danger in various ways, it would also place the community surrounding such clinics in great risk. Nizer’s solution, while being a novel approach to an old problem, is poorly planned and would present difficult and unnecessary challenges to the communities involved.

     For Nizer these clinics are the ultimate solution to the growing drug problem in the United States. He states, "There would be a savings of hundreds of millions of dollars from the elimination of the prosecutorial procedures that stifle our courts and overcrowd our prisons" (199). He points out the great number of addicts in New York City alone and believes his idea of clinics that provide them with drugs would, in the long run, eliminate these addicts. His proposal is rather confusing. How can providing addicts with drugs serve to wean them from the drugs? Nizer never really answers this question. Instead, he offers his ideas on the positive effects that would occur if these clinics succeeded in eliminating drug abusers.

     One of these positive effects, according to Nizer, would be lack of business for drug pushers (200). If no one abuses drugs, no provider of drugs is needed. He thinks that robbery, violence in neighborhoods, and the power of the mob would decline sharply. He even thinks that due to lack of these problems, the police would be able to turn their concentration on crimes not drug related (200).

     Yes, life would be wonderful if free drug clinics offered a magical solution to reducing drug addicts. But they do not. Many obstacles and challenges stand in the way of Nizer’s seemingly perfect plan. One such challenge is lack of control. Determining which persons were, in reality, drug addicts would be extremely difficult, if not impossible. This problem could lead to citizens who decided they simply wanted a free high going to these clinics and receiving a shot. There we have it: another drug addict in the making. Some people do not participate in drug usage simply due to the lack of funds. If drugs were provided at no cost, we would set no limits on who could become drug abusers.

     Another obvious kink in Nizer’s plan is the problem of limitations. Nizer states himself, "Since many of them [drug addicts] need two or three fixes a day, particularly for crack, one can understand the terror in our streets and homes" (199). If clinics could not provide this number of shots to people, the initial problem would only be multiplied. Nizer’s "controlled regulations" (200) seem virtually impossible to enact. Without the adequate number of shots provided to keep addicts pacified, they would be compelled to steal, rob, or murder to acquire money to satisfy their need. In such cases, no solution would have been reached and the clinics would be serving no purpose.

     Perhaps the greatest objection to free drugs lies with addicts themselves. Addicts should have the opportunity to free themselves of this life-threatening habit. If they are handed the drug on a silver platter, they will never have the inspiration to start the process of a drug free life. Under Nizer’s plan, addicts would remain addicts, and the drug problem in the U. S. would only continue to grow out of control.

     Louis Nizer’s plan as stated in "How About Low-Cost Drugs for Addicts?" is an interesting one, but, unfortunately, far from a magical solution. Such a plan, in order to have even a slim chance of working, would require years of planning and organization, but when everything is said and done, this approach to solving America’s drug problem would most likely be more of a problem than a solution.

Work Cited

Nizer, Louis. "How About Low-Cost Drugs for Addicts?" New York Times 1986. Rpt. in   Portfolio Composition: A Student’s Guide and Reader for English 1010 Portfolio Sections. 2nd. ed. Eds. Ayne Cantrell and Sushil Oswal. New York: McGraw, 1997. 199-201.

Questions for Critical Thinking:

1. More than likely, you have not read Nizer’s essay to which this student essay responds. Does the writer summarize adequately for you to understand Nizer’s position? What is Nizer’s position?
2. How do paragraphs 2 and 3 function in the essay? How do paragraphs 4, 5, and 6 function?
3. What is the writer’s organizing principal? Is it appropriate?
4. Underline the student writer’s thesis. Does the writer prove the thesis? Why or why not?
5. Highlight all quotations. Are these properly documented? Introduced?
6. Does the writer have sufficient citations in paragraph 3? Why or why not?
7. Reread the writer’s statement of purpose on the coversheet. Does the student understand the purpose of the summary/response essay? How well does the writer achieve the stated purpose?
8. If you were to grade the essay, what grade would you give it? Why that grade?

Return to Part Two

Guide to Writing Essay 5

Invention and Research

Finding a Subject--Do you like to think about gender issues, debate the value of the Internet, ponder the state of the workplace? Essay 5 allows you to consider these subjects and others.

What subject will you respond to? Read all the following writings from Axelrod and Cooper’s Who Are We? Readings on Identity, Community, Work, and Career: and choose one for the subject of your summary and response essay:

Ellyn Kaschak, "The Prism of Self-Image," pages 19-23
Jenny Lyn Bader, "Larger Than Life," 32-43
Nell Bernstein, "Goin’ Gansta, Choosin’ Cholita: Claiming Identity," 44-50
Shelly Turkle, "Who Am We?," 51-56
Dorothy Chin, "The Internet Encourages Isolation," 57-59
George D. Kuh, et al., "The Questionable Value of Fraternities," 87-91
Lester C. Thurow, "Survival-of-the-Fittest Capitalism," 147-50
Judith H. Dobrzynski, "Women on the Corporate Ladder," 160-64
Ellis Cose, "Color Blind," 165-70
William Julius Wilson, "A Proposal for a WPA-Style Jobs Program," 179-88

Exploring Your Subject--Once you select the writing that you will summarize and respond to, explore your subject by 

1. Reading the selected essay at least twice, practicing the reading strategies outlined in the St. Martin’s,  Chapter 12 (583-604)
2. Identifying the author’s thesis, purpose, and audience
3. Outlining the author’s main ideas

Considering Your Response--Now that you thoroughly understand the author’s position on the subject, explore how you think about the subject by

1. Writing at least ten minutes in response to these questions: How does the piece relate to your knowledge and experience? What do you think about what the writer has said? What are the writer’s strongest points? The weakest?
2. Writing at least ten minutes in response to these questions: Where do you agree with the author? Why? Where do you disagree with the author? Why?

Analyzing Your Readers--Take ten minutes to begin thinking about your prospective readers. You will need to choose and analyze your readers carefully so that you can provide the right kind of information for them. Contemplate what they know about the subject and how they are likely to view it. Consider the items on this audience checklist:

1. Assume that your audience has not read the essay to which you are responding, and be sure that you provide an adequate summary of the source.
2. Narrow your audience to a particular group, such as the readers of a magazine or newspaper. For example, if you are writing on a gender issue, you may want to target the readers of Ms. magazine. Perhaps you will want to target the same magazine where the essay was originally published. What audience does that magazine target? To whom was the essayist writing?
3. Consider relevant characteristics of your readers--what the readers have in common--and adapt your essay’s content and language accordingly. For example, readers of Ms. are college-educated, middle to upper-class Americans, mostly women and mostly white with liberal views about women’s issues.
4. Take into account the attitude of your audience toward your subject. Will your audience tend to agree or disagree with your position? Remember that you want to be understood and taken seriously; therefore, convince your readers that you are trustworthy, fair, and accountable for your information.
5. Choose a tone that is concerned but not overly emotional. Even if you believe your author’s position is totally wrong, treat the author with respect.

Planning and Drafting

Your job in writing the summary and response essay is twofold: (1) to present the author’s ideas clearly and accurately so that someone who has not read the source will understand the author’s position and (2) to present a clearly defined, relevant response that disagrees at least in part with the author so that your reader will understand you and take you seriously.

Thesis/Promise/Delivery. A strong thesis is essential in the summary and response essay. Readers need to understand what position you are taking in disagreement with the author.
What is your response to the author’s position and why? In other words, in writing the summary and response paper, you make your readers this promise: "I will tell you what  the author says about X and what I believe about X and why I believe it, so that you will think I have treated my source fairly, and you will understand my position clearly." To deliver on your promise, ask yourself, "Have I provided adequate summary of the author’s position? Have I clearly outlined my position and my reasons for holding it?"

Organization. As with all effective writing, the shape of the summary and response essay is determined by its thesis and patterns that follow from it. Obviously, the summary and response essay calls for both your summary of the selected reading and your response to it. Remember that you are summarizing the author’s ideas in order to respond to them; be careful to strike an appropriate balance so that the author will be understood and your position clearly and fully addressed. Not only indicate how you disagree with the author but also tell why you do so.

Characteristically, paragraphs in the summary and response essay serve these functions:

More specifically, the opening paragraph should

1. Engage the reader with an interesting title and opening (if you can’t think of an exciting way to open the essay move on to the next part of the introduction and come back to opening sentences later).
2. Situate the discussion: What is your subject? Why is it a significant topic? Who cares about the subject? Whom does it effect? Why is it worth discussing?
3. Fully identify the author (first and last name) and the title of the essay (enclose in quotation marks) as you move to summarize the essay you are addressing.
4. Briefly summarize the author’s stance on the subject and his/her main points (2 to 4 sentences maximum). Remember most likely your reader has not read this piece.
5. Provide an adequate transition as you move to state your thesis.
6. Close the opening paragraph with a thesis that forecasts your argument (see The St. Martin’s Guide to Writing, 611-13, for a discussion of thesis and forecasting statements).

More specifically, the developing paragraphs should follow the order of development suggested by your forecasting thesis statement. (Usually for an essay of 650 words, you cannot adequately develop more than three middle paragraphs.) You have two options to organize these paragraphs:

1. Further summarize the author’s argument in a paragraph and respond with your argument in a separate paragraph.
2. Further summarize the author’s argument point by point and respond with your argument in the same paragraph; in other words, write separate paragraphs of summary/response for each point you want to consider.

Whatever choice of organization you make, be sure to

1. Give the author’s last name only but don’t add "Mr. or Ms."
2. Quote and paraphrase the author. Of course, cite your source parenthetically when you quote and paraphrase.
3. Provide evidence (examples, facts, anecdotes, and the like) to support your reasons.

More specifically, the closing paragraph should

1. Rename author (full name again) and title of the essay (yes! inside quotation marks) as you bring your argument to a close.
2. Your middle discussion paragraphs broke your argument down into parts, so in the closing paragraph remember to bring the argument back together and restate your thesis (using fresh language, of course).
3. Give finality to your essay by either giving the reader one last point to consider in favor of your position, or by framing the ending of your essay with a reference to your title or opening idea.

Preparing your Works Cited page: You will have one entry on your work cited page. Remember that this page is numbered and double-spaced, too. Follow this sample for a work in an anthology and indicate when and where the essay was first published:

Turkle, Sherry. "Who Am We?" Life on the Screen: Identity in the Age of the Internet 1995. Rpt. in Who Are We? Readings on Identity, Community, Work, and Career. Eds. Rise B. Axelrod and Charles R. Cooper. New York: St. Martin’s, 1997. 51-56.

Previous publication information for essays collected in Who Are We? is given either in the editors’ introduction to the essays or in their "Acknowledgments," pages 192-93.

Revising

In the revising stage of your work in progress, be sure to seek out the advice of your peers and instructor and pay close attention to satisfying the following questions:

Have you accurately and clearly summarized your source?
Have you presented a clear and logical response in some disagreement with the author?
Have you shown why you disagree with the author?
Have you pointed out strengths and weaknesses in the author’s argument?
Have you presented your position so that readers can hear your distinctive voice?
Have you organized the paper well, providing adequate transitions among ideas and balancing the summary and response appropriately? Remember that you are summarizing in order to respond. You must give enough information in the summary to make the author’s position clear and you must show how and why you disagree.
Have you made sure you distinguish your ideas from those of your source?
Have you introduced, quoted, and paraphrased your source for development?
Have you cited your source, following MLA guidelines for parenthetical citations and the Works Cited page?
Have you clarified and supported your response by providing sufficient developing materials for your position, such as examples, observations, definitions, and details?

Editing and Proofreading

Paragraphs. Use Topic Sentences to cue your readers (see St. Martin’s 614-15). Make sure that your Topic Sentence paragraphs relate clearly to your thesis and develop your topic well.

In addition to using examples, details, and observations to develop your own ideas, you must use summary, paraphrases, and quotations to develop ideas from the selected reading. A summary is a statement in your own words that gives an overview in a few words of what the piece of writing is about (see Harbrace Handbook 39d4). An essay of two pages usually can be summarized in three sentences or less and is written from the perspective of the summarizer (e.g., "In ‘The Prism of Self-Image,’ Ellen Kaschak argues that . . . ."). Like the summary, a paraphrase states the author’s ideas in your own words, but the paraphrase differs from the summary in that in the paraphrase you must use about the same number of words as the author (see Harbrace Handbook 39d3). A quotation uses the exact words of the author and is enclosed in quotation marks (see Harbrace Handbook 39d2). Summaries do not require parenthetical citations (Harbrace 40a1; paraphrases and quotations do.

Sentences and Words. Polish your sentences and words by following the suggestions for Improving Your Prose Style for Portfolio Submissions.

Editing. To spot errors in grammar and mechanics, typing errors, and omissions of words and phrases, read your essay aloud at least once prior to submission. Also follow your teacher’s requirements for the in-class editing of the essay.

THINKING CRITICALLY ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED
Reflecting on Your Writing--Choose one of the following:

1. Write a page or so telling your instructor about a problem you encountered in writing Essay 5: Summarizing and Responding, how you discovered it, and how you went about solving it.
2. Now that you have completed third drafts of all five essays, write a page or so telling your teacher which genre you like best to write and why? Which has been the most difficult for you to write and why?

Return to Part Two

Using Secondary Sources in Your Writing

When you write using secondary sources, you will need to know

1. How to use the appropriate style sheet as an aid to writing works cited entries-- Use MLA for English papers. See  Harbrace Handbook  40a-40b.
2. How to avoid plagiarism-- Use the ideas and words of others responsibly.  See Harbrace Handbook 39e.
3. How to cite and punctuate sources parenthetically in the text of the paper-- Except for blocked off quotations, citations appear just before the punctuation in the sentence. Cite your source at the sentence level.  See Harbrace Handbook 40a1.
4. How to paraphrase sources-- Paraphrase sources more often than quoting. An adequate paraphrase accurately reflects the content of the original passage and is written in your own words, using about the same number of words as the original.  See Harbrace Handbook  39d3.
5. How to integrate and punctuate quotations from sources-- Don't PLOP quotations into your text. Prepare the reader for the quotation by introducing it with an attribution or integrating it some way. Be accurate in every detail when you quote; duplicate punctuation and capitalization exactly as in the original source. Don't quote too often because "Too many quotations in a paper can convey the impression that you have little to say for yourself" (Harbarce, 12th ed., 414).See Harbrace Handbook  39d.

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Meeting Requirements: Individual Essay Checklist

1.  My paper is typed with 1" margins or handwritten in blue or black ink on theme paper as required by my teacher.
2.  I have typed my paper using a regular typewriter font or a word processing font size of 10 or 12 with the font type like "Times New Roman" or "Courier."
3.  My paper is headed appropriately according to MLA style.
4.  My paper is numbered appropriately with my last name and page number according to MLA style (sample pp. 18-20).
5.  My paper meets the length requirement of 550-650 words.
6.  My paper represents the third draft of the essay.
7. My paper has a carefully constructed coversheet that accurately represents the nature of the essay.
8. My paper meets all of the requirements of purpose, audience, and topic outlined by the textbook and our class handouts.
9.  I have proofread my paper carefully and know that it contains fewer than three misspelled words.
10. If secondary sources are used in the writing assignment (Essays 3, 4, and 5), I have followed the MLA Style Sheet for  parenthetical citations and Works Cited.
11. I have submitted interview notes and copies of written sources cited for Essays #3 and 4.
12. My submission includes invention strategies, draft 1, draft 2 & coversheet, draft 3 & coversheet, and the peer response form.
13. My paper is being turned in to my instructor on time, or if not, I have made previous arrangements with my instructor.
14. I understand that if my submission does not meet all of the above requirements, my paper may be returned unread by my instructor. If the paper is returned unread by my instructor, I realize my Final Portfolio grade may be penalized.

Essay Coversheet Requirement--For each of the five essay assignments you write in English 1010, you are required to have coversheets beginning with draft 2, the peer response draft. These may be handwritten (in blue or black ink) or typed (as require by your instructor). Of course, coversheets are essential for each of the essays submitted for the Mid-term and Final Portfolios.

How to Complete the Essay Coversheet--For your convenience, 15 copies of the Essay Coversheet form are included in the Materials section of Portfolio Composition. Completing the coversheet is an important component of the writing process. It is the step where you formally state what your intentions are in terms of audience, purpose, and thesis--the three major considerations of all writing situations. Additionally, you re-examine your writer's role in the essay, an important aid for establishing your tone.

Completing the coversheet items will help you think through the rhetorical problem at hand: "I am writing to whom? about what? and for what purpose?"

Coversheets also figure as a major consideration in the evaluation of your portfolio. In essence, the coversheet is a contract in which you make certain promises to your reader(s). Do not mistakenly regard this task as merely superficial or as window dressing for your paper; the coversheet should be a thoughtfully composed set of responses that will assist the readers (peer group members, your instructor, norming-group faculty members) in evaluating the result of your efforts. The degree of correspondence between the information provided in the essay coversheet and the finished essay carries a great deal of weight, particularly in the Mid-term Portfolio and Final Portfolio evaluations.

For each essay, complete a coversheet after you have written a discovery draft and then submit the coversheet with all subsequent drafts of the essay, revising the coversheet as needed if your approach to the essay changes.  Sample coversheets have been provided for you with the student essays that follow each of the essay assignments. Additional coversheets are provided in the Sample Student Portfolio.

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Assignment: Reflective Writing--Thinking Critically About What You Have Learned

In addition to the essay writing that you will do in English 1010, you will also write reflective pieces about your writing and reading. Usually your teacher will ask you to complete these writings in class after you complete draft three of each essay. In these reflective assignments, you will have the opportunity to explore the problems you encountered while writing the essay and how you went about solving the problems and to discuss how the readings of similar essays influenced your essay.

Assignment: Peer Group Response: In Portfolio Composition 1010 you have a unique opportunity to participate in a community of writers, a group of your classmates, who will advise you about your writing. In turn you will advise your classmates about their writing. Then you both will have the opportunity to revise your writing before you submit it to your instructor.

A Plan for Responding to Your Peers’ Writing--In the following you will find a plan for peer group response that allows for (1) oral feedback to your classmates’ writing, (2) written feedback, and (3) evaluation of the peer group process. Your teacher may modify the plan to expedite the process.

Tasks for Peer Response Groups

The General Rules:

TASK ONE--Oral Response (approximate time 30 minutes)

1. Group members introduce themselves.
2. The first writer reads her/his own coversheet and essay aloud.
3. Peers listen carefully.
4. When the writer finishes reading, the group observes at least two minutes of silence while peers jot down reactions to the coversheet and essay. See form for note taking, Notes for Peer’s Oral Response.
5. After time for note taking lapses, the writer asks her/his questions about the essay.
6. Peers answer the writer’s questions and give the writer their own reactions.
7. Complete steps 2-6 for each remaining writer.

TASK TWO--Written Response (approximate time 15 minutes)

1. Group members exchange essays.
2. Each member reads silently the essay of one of his/her peers and completes a Peer Response Sheet.
3. Respondents sign Peer Response Sheet and return it to writers.
4. Writers quickly read responses to see if anything needs clarification.

TASK THREE--Group Evaluation and Closure (approximate time 5 minutes)

1. Students evaluate the session by completing Evaluation of the Peer Group Process.
2. Students submit Notes for Peer’s Oral Response to the teacher for daily credit.
3. Students submit Writer’s Questions for daily credit.

Peer Response Groups--Tips for Success

Tips for Writers:

1. Read your piece and allow at least two minutes of silence after the reading for impressions to become clearer in the minds of your peers and to give them time to jot down reaction notes for oral response.
   Do not rush the reading of your piece.
2. Ask the group questions about the content of your writing: "What other examples could I use to appeal to my teenage audience?" "Two sentences are not enough for paragraph three, so what else could I say?" (see Writer’s Questions)
3. Avoid defensiveness. Let the writing stand for itself and listen openly to the responses of the group members. This will help you revise later.
4. Do not quarrel with your group's reactions. Maybe what you see is truly there, and others do not see it. But maybe what they see is there, too--even if it contradicts what you see. Just listen, take it all in, and then make your own decision about what the writing needs.

Tips for Respondents:

1. Use active listening. Do not concentrate on your next comments; concentrate instead on what the speaker is saying. Tell what you think the writer is trying to say by either paraphrasing or summarizing the gist of what has been written. Have the writers read back some of their own words.
2. As the piece is being read, jot down words or phrases that catch your attention. What is it about those words that make them stand out? What parts of the piece do you like best? How do those parts work for you?
3. Take advantage of the note taking time after each essay reading and complete Notes for Peer’s Oral Response: What works? What doesn’t? What questions do you have? (a.) Respond to specific sections of the writing. A general response, such as "I like it" or "That's good," does not help the writer find ways to improve the writing. (b.) Let the writer know if there is anything in the writing that seems confusing, out of place, or unclear. Explain why you are bothered by that particular section or item. (c.) Ask the writer, "What part of the paper do you like best?" "What part was most difficult to write?" "How can the group help you?"

When it comes to writing improvement, working in peer groups can be one of the most useful activities in Portfolio Composition, second only to receiving teacher feedback.

The responses you generate as a listener are the first tools available to student writers to help determine the need for revision in their writing on major issues such as audience, purpose, thesis, development, and organization. Your serious participation in peer group and especially your thoughtful comments on Peer Response Sheets are very important to the writers in your group.

Before coming to class to participate in the peer group experience, you should re-read the following to maximize the usefulness of your comments to writers: Tasks for Peer Response Groups  and Peer Response Groups--Tips for Success.

A Sample Peer Response Sheet is provided to give an idea of the type and depth of responses that could lead the writer to revise weak areas and capitalize on strengths. The Sample Peer Response Sheet responds to an earlier draft of Essay 1: Remembering an Event. Before you examine the sample, read the portfolio coversheet and essay and answer the following questions: What peer suggestions did the writer follow? Which did the writer not follow? Was it a mistake not to follow all the suggestions?

Sample Essay 1 Peer Response Sheet: Remembering an Event

1. What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here. I was caught up in the story. I wanted to know what brought on the "death of innocence."
2. Does the essay have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment? YES What do you see as that purpose?  He wants the reader to understand what the experience of seeing a man die meant to him.
3. To what audience is the essay directed and is this audience an appropriate one for the subject? Coversheet says to Reader Digest audience. This seems right to me because people of most walks of life would understand and enjoy this story.
4. List two examples from the essay that indicate the writer’s awareness of the needs of this specific audience. Refer to the essay’s tone, word choice, details selected, and so forth. Death is a serious subject and he handles it with the seriousness that the reader expects. The details about how school was tough for him, how it was like a prison. Probably many of his readers will identify with that experience and get caught up in the story.
5. What is main point or thesis of the essay? Write the thesis sentence down here. I don’t know what the main point is exactly. Maybe he needs to state a thesis in the opening paragraph (he doesn’t give a thesis on the coversheet either).
6. Does the organization of essay material logically follow from the purpose and thesis of the essay? YES  Comment:  He tells the story in chronological order, which is the right way to tell a story. At the end he tells what the experience meant to him, and that’s what we’re supposed to do, too. He needs a climax to the story, though--maybe highlight the point when it was clear that the man was dead?
7. Does the essay keep you interested? YES Up to a point. Comment: I never got bored!!

8. List three details or examples that interested you. The title, the line about the irony "a kind of cradle to the grave metaphor" and When he thought about his father, if he were the one dead

9. Can you follow the time order of the events or situations easily?  Yes, very clear. I get the sense that the event took place in a matter of a few minutes. Is that right? Are all other details clear?  I don’t know what he means when he said that he went home "a little titillated."
10. Add further suggestions and comments: Circle paragraphs that confused you. Par. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9  I don’t see the point of paragraph 2 when he talks about studying algebra--seems off the subject or at least not necessary. He needs to get to the story more quickly. And the part about "titillating" is not explained. What, if anything, should the writer throw out or revise?  The part about being "titillated." Also I don’t understand why he crossed the street. Also is he talking about Newport, TN? What should the writer definitely keep? The part about his dad. Quote or note your favorite sentence, point, or idea from the essay. "If not for coincidence, it would have been splendid irony, a kind of cradle to the grave metaphor."
11. Does the essay fulfill the requirements for the assignment?  Is there a coversheet? YES  Is the essay titled? YES   Is the essay handwritten in blue or black ink on wide-lined paper, or typed/printed, on one side only? YES  Is the first page set up as in the sample essay in Harbrace  635? YES  Are subsequent pages numbered as in the sample essay in Harbrace 635?  NO  Your last name plus page # needed on each page.  Does the essay meet the 550-650 word count?  NO  900 words! too long--cut!

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Assignment: The Portfolio: Your hard work this semester will culminate in the selections you include in your Final Portfolio, one from Essay 1 and 2, two from Essays 3, 4, and 5. By now, you have had benefit of preliminary teacher feedback on your Discovery Draft, feedback from classmates on your Peer Draft, and more in depth suggestions for improving your essay on the Teacher's Draft. At this point, you are ready for even more substantial and effective revision, the key to success in the Portfolio System. But what does revision really mean? How should you incorporate your teacher's comments?

Revising for the Portfolio

Successful writers always revise their work, so revision will be an important activity in Portfolio Composition. In fact, the portfolio system of writing assessment rewards you for substantial and effective revision.

As you perhaps already know, the word revise comes from the French revoir, which means to see again. When your teacher asks you to revise your writing, your teacher wants you to reconsider it from a fresh perspective and to make significant changes that will involve re-seeing and re-thinking "global" issues like purpose, thesis, audience, development, organization, and writer's tone and voice. Though important, simply cleaning up surface errors (misspellings, for example) is not revising. Your teacher will always ask that you do more than just correct mistakes. Your revision tasks may include rewriting entire sections of your essay, reordering paragraphs, or selecting another audience, which will also mean choosing different supporting material and language throughout the essay. Of course, you will also deal with sentence-level corrections, but remember this alone does not constitute revision.

Now that you have a general idea of what revision means, how should you approach incorporating instructor comments? Your teacher will respond to your writing with an eye to its strengths and weaknesses. Once you receive your instructor's comments, whether on the individual essay's Teacher Feedback Sheet or on the Mid-term Portfolio Evaluation Form, read them carefully to help you determine how to proceed to revise and, thus, improve your efforts for the Final Portfolio submission. The best way to read the Teacher's Feedback Sheet is to (1) read the teacher's general response first, (2) next, read the teacher's specific response to issues of purpose, audience, development, organization, and language usage, and (3) finally, read the teacher's comments on the margins of your paper. Be sure to ask your teacher about comments you do not understand.

Much of your success as a writer in Portfolio Composition will be determined by your ability to revise your writing effectively over the course of fifteen weeks of writing. The Portfolio System recognizes that you are a developing writer who must learn the craft of revision. Think of your teacher as your writing coach, take your teacher's suggestions for revision to heart, and remember that your best writing will always be a product of rewriting.

Editing for the Portfolio

After you are satisfied that your revised essays contain effective global changes, you are ready for the next steps of portfolio readiness: (1) editing to improve your prose style and (2) editing to eliminate errors in grammar and mechanics.

It is important to have something significant to say and to say it well; that is, be sure to clothe your ideas in memorable, emphatic language that is also dressed in a style appropriate for college-level writing. Therefore, the last step in revision before proofreading your writing for correctness is polishing your prose style. These six questions should help you know what to look for as you go about improving your prose style.

ARE YOU

AVOIDING UTILITY WORDS LIKE "THING"?  See Harbrace Handbook 20a1.

AVOIDING TRITE EXPRESSIONS LIKE "EASY AS PIE"?  See Harbrace Handbook 20b.

AVOIDING PASSIVE VOICE? See Harbrace Handbook 29d.

Passive voice The peace treaty ending World War II in the Pacific was signed by General Douglas MacArthur on the deck of the USS Missouri.
Active voice On the deck of the USS Missouri, General Douglas MacArthur signed the peace treaty ending World War II in the Pacific.

AVOIDING WEAK VERBS, THOSE FORMED FROM "BE," "DO," AND "HAVE"?

Weak The traffic downtown today was bad.
Revised Heavy traffic clogged downtown streets today.

USING COORDINATION AND SUBORDINATION APPROPRIATELY TO SHOW RELATIONSHIP OF IDEAS IN SENTENCES?

See Harbrace Handbook 24a, b, c for suggestions on subordination and coordination, of conjunctions and subordinate conjunctions (pages 9-10).

WRITING WITH SENTENCE VARIETY? Be sure to

Beginning with single-word transitions: Afterward, we discussed the difficulties of being a single parent. (See Harbrace 3b for lists of words.)

Student Information Sheet

Last name, First name you preferred to be called _____________Social Security Number___
HOMETOWN: ____________ TELEPHONE: ________ E-MAIL:___________________
MARRIED STATUS: ( ) Single ( ) Married ( ) Divorced Number and ages of children:
WORK EXPERIENCE:
PRESENT EMPLOYMENT:                            Number of hours per week:
UNIVERSITY CLASSIFICATION: ( ) first-year student ( ) sophomore ( ) junior ( ) senior
MAJOR: ________________________ MINOR(S) :______________________________
CAREER GOAL(S):
Number of  HOURS ENROLLED FOR THIS SEMESTER: _________________________
What do you think will be your hardest course this semester?__________________________
OTHER WRITING COURSES TAKEN WHILE IN COLLEGE:
HEALTH & PERSONAL CONSIDERATIONS: As your teacher, is there anything I should know about your health or personal situation?
COURSE CONSIDERATIONS: As your writing teacher, is there anything I should know about your writing ability and/or attitude about writing as we begin the course?
ON THE BACK OF THIS SHEET, PLEASE ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS:

1. How much writing and what kinds of writing have you done both in and out of school? Be as specific as possible. For example, how many school papers have you written? how many pages long? what did you write about? What do you write outside of school (letters? poems? journal or diary?) and how often do you write?
2. How do you feel about yourself as a writer? For example, are you confident of your abilities or less than confident?

Return to Part Four

Draft 1 Progress Reports

Essay 1: Draft 1 Progress Report
Number of words of draft ________
TOPIC & THESIS: Briefly describe the event you are writing about and indicate why it is important in your life.  Essays involve both self-discovery and self-presentation. What has this writing led you to discover about yourself? What kind of self does your draft now present to readers? What is your thesis, the main point of the essay? Des your thesis suggest the significance of the event (the way you changed because of the event or what you learned as a result of the experience)?  Underline places in your essay where you reflect. Have you reflected more than just at the end of your draft?
PURPOSE: We write about our experiences so that others can learn about us. What do you want your readers to learn about you as a consequence of reading the essay?
AUDIENCE: Describe your ideal reader: age, education level, gender, race or ethnicity, socio-economic level, geographical location. What publication would be appropriate for this essay and reader? Give three ways that your draft adapts language and content to this publication and reader.
DEVELOPMENT: List the scenes (locations) and people in your essay and identify the ones which are most vividly presented and which ones may need more detailing or less.
ORGANIZATION: Explain how you organized your telling of the event. What period of time does your chronology of the event cover? Identify the climax of the narrative. How did you go about building suspense? What other possibilities could you consider for beginning, ending, and organizing the essay?
PRELIMINARY ASSESSMENT: What are you most pleased with in this draft? Be specific. List any problems you are having with this draft and write down any questions you have about the assignment or your work.

Essay 2: Draft 1 Progress Report
Number of words of draft ________
TOPIC & THESIS: What person are you writing about and what is your relationship with this person? How did you come to choose this person? How has your relationship with this person been important in your life? How do you want your readers to view this person? Is this view indicated by your thesis? Underline your thesis. Have you avoided either condemning or idealizing the person and sentimentalizing the relationship?
PURPOSE: Other than fulfilling the requirements of the assignment, what is your primary purpose in writing this essay?
AUDIENCE: Describe your ideal reader: age, education level, gender, race or ethnicity, socio-economic level, geographical location. What publication would be appropriate for this essay and reader? Give three ways that your draft adapts language and content to this publication and reader.
DEVELOPMENT: List the concrete, one-time anecdotes included in your draft. After each one, indicate what it reveals about the person or your relationship.  Do you need all the anecdotes? Do you need more? Which may need further detailing (such as dialogue) or less? What recurring events do you use to depict your subject? Do you need more, fewer? Have you given a physical description of your subject (how the person looks, moves, speaks)? How does the physical description work to establish a significant point about the person that supports your thesis?
ORGANIZATION: Describe briefly how you have organized your essay--how you begin, end and sequence your presentation of the person. What advantages do you see in your plan?  Note one or two ways you might strengthen the organization.
PRELIMINARY ASSESSMENT: What are you most pleased with in this draft? Be specific.  List any problems you are having with this draft and write down any questions you have about the assignment or your work.

Essay 3: Draft 1 Progress Report
Number of words of draft ________
TOPIC & THESIS: What subject are you profiling?
What is your interpretation or dominate impression of the subject? How did you discover it?  Is the dominant impression stated as your thesis? If not, why not? Where is your thesis stated? Underline it.
PURPOSE: Other than fulfilling the requirements of the assignment, what is your primary purpose in writing this essay? What do your want your readers to understand and appreciate about the subject you are profiling?
AUDIENCE: For what publication are you writing? Why this publication? Who reads this publication? Describe the readership in terms of age, education level, gender, race or ethnicity, and socio-economic level, and geographical location where applicable. List three ways that you have adapted the content and language of your draft to this audience.
DEVELOPMENT: What specific materials in your essay (physical descriptions, factual information, etc.) contribute to the dominate impression of the subject that you are profiling?
Use of sources: Give title and name of the person(s) you interviewed. What makes the person(s) an appropriate authority?  Did you use written sources? List here. How did you use these sources? quotations, paraphrases, summaries? Have you provided clear attributions (introductions) for your sources? Below, write two attributions you used in the draft. Do you need more information from a follow-up visit or interview? What information do you still need about the subject? Whom should you consult to get it?
ORGANIZATION: Explain your organizing principle. Is it primarily chronological or topical? How does each middle paragraph contribute to creating the dominate impression of your subject? Which paragraphs need to be cut or revised? Read Harbrace 31b4 pertaining to providing transitions between paragraphs. Have you provided transitions at the beginning of each new developing paragraph? Which paragraphs need to be revised for coherence?
PRELIMINARY ASSESSMENT: What are you most pleased with in this draft? Be specific.  List any problems you are having with this draft and write down any questions you have about the assignment or your work.

Essay 4: Draft 1 Progress Report
Number of words of draft ________
TOPIC & THESIS: What is the subject you are evaluating?
What are the standards of value you use to evaluate this subject? List here. Are these stated directly or indirectly in the draft? Explain. What is your judgment of the subject Does your thesis indicate this judgment?  Underline your thesis. Where is it located? Why did you choose to locate your thesis here? Does it forecast the development of your evaluation?
PURPOSE: Other than fulfilling the requirements of the assignment, what is your primary purpose in writing this essay? What do you want your readers to believe as a result of reading your essay?
AUDIENCE: For what publication are you writing? Why this publication?  Who reads this publication? Describe the readership in terms of age, education level, gender, race or ethnicity, and socio-economic level, and geographical location where applicable. List three ways that you have adapted the content and language of your draft to this audience.
DEVELOPMENT: What kinds of evidence are you using to support your judgment? Examples? Comparisons with other subjects of the same type? Expert opinions? Other? What source(s) will you list on your Works Cited page?
ORGANIZATION: ? Does your opening paragraph introduce, describe, and summarize the subject you are evaluating? Is there sufficient information for your reader who doesn’t know your subject? On a separate sheet of paper, outline your draft. Does your outline present an argument in support of your thesis claim that follows the reasons proof pattern? Examine your draft for transitions for each new developing paragraph. Write the transitions here:
PRELIMINARY ASSESSMENT: What are you most pleased with in this draft? Be specific. List any problems you are having with this draft and write down any questions you have about the assignment or your work.

Essay 5: Draft 1 Progress Report
Number of words of draft ________
TOPIC & THESIS: List the author and title of the essay to which you are responding. Why did you choose this essay? What is the author’s subject and his/her position? Underline your thesis in the draft. What is your position as stated in the thesis?  Is your position in partial disagreement or total disagreement with the essayist’s position?
PURPOSE: Other than fulfilling the requirements of the assignment, what is your primary purpose in writing this essay? What do you want you readers to believe as a result of reading your essay?
AUDIENCE: For what publication are you writing? Why this publication?  Who reads this publication? Describe the readership in terms of age, education level, gender, race or ethnicity, and socio-economic level, and geographical location where applicable. What positions would the readers of this publication be expected to take on the issue you are writing about? List three ways that you have adapted the content and language of your draft to this audience.
DEVELOPMENT: List the reasons you are using to support your thesis. What examples and details are you using to support these reasons? ORGANIZATION: Does your opening paragraph summarize the essay you are responding to? Is there sufficient information for your reader who hasn’t read the essay? On a separate sheet of paper, outline your draft. Describe your organizing principle. Why is it appropriate for the essay that responds to another essay? Examine your draft for transitions between paragraphs. Write the transitions here:
PRELIMINARY ASSESSMENT: What are you most pleased with in this draft? Be specific. List any problems you are having with this draft and write down any questions you have about the assignment or your work.

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The Essay Coversheet

Essay Number_________

1. In a word or phrase, describe your topic.

2. In a word or phrase, give your working title.

3. Complete the following sentence that tells why you are an insider on this subject; that is, what qualifies you to write on this subject.? I am an insider on this subject because

4. In two to four sentences complete the following, which should describe your target audience in specific terms: class, gender, race, age, educational level, geographical location and the like.

My target readers are
 I have chosen this specific audience because

5. Complete the following statements that indicate (a) the purpose that you want to achieve in writing this essay for this specific audience and (b) the response you expect from this audience.

My purpose in writing this essay is to
I hope my audience will respond by

6. Complete the following sentence to indicate what value your essay holds for its readers.

My readers will benefit from reading this essay by

7. In a word or phrase, identify the role you are playing as the author of this essay: Are you writing in your role as a university student, new parent, concerned citizen, dedicated worker, or what?

8. In a complete sentence, state your thesis. Be sure that this statement is the same thesis that appears in your essay.

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Writer's Questions for Peer Group Response

Essay # _____

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Notes for Peer’s Oral Response

Peer Response Sheets--Essays 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5

ESSAY 1 PEER RESPONSE SHEET: REMEMBERING AN EVENT
Essay writer’s name_______________________ Peer’s name_________________

*1.What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here.

 2. Does the essay have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment? YES NO What do you see as that purpose?

*3. To what audience is the essay directed, and is this an appropriate audience for this subject?

4. List two examples from the essay that indicate the writer’s awareness of the needs of this specific audience. Refer to the essay’s tone, word choice, details selected, and so forth.

*5. What is main point or thesis of the essay? Write the thesis sentence down here.

6. Does the organization of essay material logically follow from the purpose and thesis of the essay? YES NO Comment:

*7. Does the essay keep you interested? YES NO UP TO A POINT Comment:

8. Which paragraphs should provide more detail? Par 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 none Comment:

9. Can you follow the time order of the events or situations easily? YES NO
Are all other details clear?

10. Add further suggestions and comments below.

a. Circle paragraphs that confused you. Par. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
b. What, if anything, should the writer throw out or revise?
c. What should the writer definitely keep?
d. Quote or note your favorite sentence, point, or idea from the essay.

*11. Does the essay fulfill the requirements for the assignment?

a. Is there a coversheet? YES NO
b. Is the essay titled? YES NO
c. Is the essay handwritten in blue or black ink on wide-lined paper, or typed/printed, on one side only? YES NO
d. Is the first page set up as in the sample student essay Harbrace 635? YES NO
e. Are subsequent pages numbered as in the sample student essay Harbrace 635? YES NO
f. Does the essay meet the 550-650 word count? YES NO

ESSAY 2 PEER RESPONSE SHEET: REMEMBERING A PERSON
Essay writer’s name ____________________  Peer’s name___________________

*1. What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here.

2. Does the essay have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment? YES NO  What do you see as that purpose?

*3. To what audience is the essay directed, and is this an appropriate audience for the subject?

*5. What is main point or thesis of the essay? Write the thesis sentence down here.

*6. Does the writer use plenty of examples, illustrations, and details to involve readers in the essay? YES NO List the two best of these below.

*7. Does the writer give enough information for readers to understand her/his point of view?  YES NO  If not, explain what you did not understand.

8. Circle paragraphs in which you would like to find more information or illustrations. Par. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Comment:

9. Does the writer stake out her/his position without borrowing the opinions or positions of others?

*10. Does the writer come across as an insider about the subject of the essay? YES NO PARTLY Explain why or why not.

11. Does the writer have a "voice"? Does the writer come across as a person writing to real people?

12 Add further suggestions and comments below.

a. Circle paragraphs that confused you. Par. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
b. What, if anything, should the writer throw out or revise?
c. What should the writer definitely keep?
d. Quote or note your favorite sentence, point, or idea from the essay.

*13. Does the essay fulfill the requirements for the assignment?

a. Is there a coversheet? YES NO
b. Is the essay titled? YES NO
c. Is the essay handwritten in blue or black ink on wide-lined paper, or typed/printed, on one side only? YES NO
d. Is the first page set up as in the sample student essay Harbrace 635? YES NO
e. Are subsequent pages numbered as in sample student essay Harbrace 635? YES NO
f. Does the essay meet the 550-650 word count? YES NO

ESSAY 3 PEER RESPONSE SHEET: PROFILING A PLACE OR ACTIVITY
Essay writer’s name______________________ Peer’s name_________________

Instructions: Respond to the asterisked items first. If you have time, respond to the rest in numerical order. Do not confer with the writer when answering the questions.

*1. What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here.

2. Does the essay have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment?

YES NO What do you see as that purpose?

*3. Who would be interested in the profile provided in this essay?

4. To what audience is the essay directed, and is this the appropriate audience for the subject?

5. List two examples that show how this essay appeals to the needs of this audience. Refer to specific tone, word choice, details included, format, and so forth.

*6. What is the essay’s main point or thesis? Write the thesis sentence down here. Is the thesis specific enough? YES NO If not, make suggestions for narrowing the focus.

*7. Reread each paragraph, noting whether it is related to the thesis of the essay.

Par. 1 YES NO Par. 5 YES NO
Par. 2 YES NO Par. 6 YES NO
Par. 3 YES NO Par. 7 YES NO
Par. 4 YES NO Par. 8 YES NO

*8. Has the writer sufficiently covered of the topic, discussing the who, what, where, when, how, and why of the profile? Comment:

*9. Comment on the relevance and effectiveness of the information conveyed below.

a. Are the essay’s facts interesting? YES NO SOMEWHAT Please note any facts you found uninteresting or off the subject:
b. Does the essay make clear why all the information is significant? YES NO UNSURE If not, explain here:
c. Is the information understandable to you? YES NO Comment:
d. Is the language clear, with technical terms defined? YES NO List terms that need to be defined here:

10. In which paragraphs would you like to see more information (facts and examples)? 
Par. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Why?

*11. Comment on the handling of the sources of the profile.

a. What person or persons were interviewed?
b. Explain what makes the person interviewed an appropriate source of information.
c. What other sources of information are used? (List them.)
d. Are quotations, facts, and paraphrases attributed and documented clearly and correctly?

12. Does the introduction

a. Get readers’ attention? YES NO
b. Present the thesis? YES NO
c. Introduce readers to the essay’s perspective? YES NO
d. Comments:

13. Does the conclusion

a. Remind you of what has been said? YES NO
b Provide something new to think about? YES NO
c. Round the essay off smoothly? YES NO
d. Comments:

ESSAY 4 PEER RESPONSE SHEET: JUSTIFYING AN EVALUATION
Essay writer’s name_______________________ Peer’s name____________________

*1. List some initial thoughts you had while reading the draft.

*2. What do you see as the purpose of this essay?

*3. What is the subject being evaluated?_______________________________________

*4. Circle One. Is the information given about the subject: Too little Too much About right? What other information does the reader need to know about the subject?

*5. In your own words, state the writer’s judgment about the subject.

*6. In your own words, give the writer’s reasons for the judgment about the subject. Identify the most convincing reason, the least convincing.

*7. Point out three specific examples showing how the needs of this essay’s particular audience helped to shape it: that is, cite particular choices of tone, kind or level of words, kinds of information given, format, and so on.

8. Overall, did the writer come across to you as an insider? YES NO If not, briefly explain why.

9. Identify the paper’s thesis. Then please re-read each paragraph, noting if it is clearly related to the overall thesis of the essay.

Par. 1 YES NO Par. 4 YES NO Par. 7 YES NO
Par. 2 YES NO Par. 5 YES NO Par. 8 YES NO
Par. 3 YES NO Par. 6 YES NO

10. Is each point about the thesis developed fully enough for you to understand why it was brought up and used to explain or support the thesis?

Point 1 YES NO Point 4 YES NO Point 7 YES NO
Point 2 YES NO Point 5 YES NO Point 8 YES NO
Point 3 YES NO Point 6 YES NO

*11. Does the introduction:

a. Get the reader’s attention? YES NO
b. Reveal the thesis or message of the essay? YES NO
c. Ease the reader into the very aspect/perspective of the subject on which the paper is focused? YES NO

12. Does the conclusion:

a. Remind you of what’s been said? YES NO
b. Give you at least one new thing to think about? YES NO
c. Provide a smooth ending so you are not left hanging in mid-air? YES NO

ESSAY 5 PEER RESPONSE SHEET: SUMMARIZING AND RESPONDING
Essay writer’s name______________________ Peer’s name_______________________

*1. What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here.

2. Does the essay seem to have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment? YES NO What do you see as that purpose?

*3. To what audience is the essay directed, and is this audience appropriate for the subject?

*4. List two examples that demonstrate how the essay appeals to this specific audience. Refer to specific tone, word choice, authorities, types of evidence, format, and so forth.

*5. What is the sentence that best expresses the essay’s thesis? Write it down here.

*6. Does the writer provide an adequate and fair summary of the essay addressed? YES NO Does the writer provide sufficient paraphrases and quotations from the essay? YES NO Will readers understand the original essayist’s position on the subject? YES NO Explain:

*9. What was the student writer’s most convincing point? the least convincing?

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Evaluation of the Peer Group Process

Essay #2 Student _________________________________

1. What information about your essay did you get from your group that will help you decide what to keep in the next draft?
2. What changes would you like to see in the peer response group process?

Essay #3 Student _______________________________

1. What aspects of your draft 3 will you change as a result of responses from your peers?
2. How has your peer group membership changed, if any, over the semester? Has this change been beneficial or a detriment to the group’s work?

Essay #4 Student __________________________

1. Discuss what you learned about writing Essay 4: Justifying an Evaluation by listening to the essays written by your peers.
2. If you could make one change about your peer group, what would that be?

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FORMAT
_____ Titled and stated topically without capitalizing all letters, underlining, boldfacing, or placing in quotation marks
_____ Handwritten in blue or black ink on wide-lined paper, front side only
_____ Typed/printed on one side only and on a good grade of white 81/2 x 11" paper with 1" margins, double spacing throughout, and right margin not justified; word processed using a standard font such as Courier or Times Roman 12_____ Typed/printed with fresh ribbon
_____ First page set up as the sample student essay Harbrace 635
_____ Subsequent pages numbered as the sample student essay Harbrace 635